Forgiveness – The Art and Practice for Self and Others
Profound Opportunity for You – Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Decades ago I was in the throes of an emotionally devasting period of my life. I was a devoted husband, father, parishioner, and on the fast track in an aerospace company. I’d put my best forward, commendable, though I certainly wasn’t perfect, and yet everything came crumbling down. It was a tumultuous wake up call for change, whether I liked it or not. I was angry, though not vengeful. I was more disappointed in not being loved or seen as the truly devoted man I was on all levels. I followed all the best practices and prescibed paths to no avail. I felt empty beyond imagination.
The anger led to holding grudges, whether with self or others didn’t matter, I needed to simply forgive and I knew it. Doing so was the challenge I needed a way to focus my mind. Fortunately, in asking for a way out, or in as the case may be, a series of synchonicities led to meeting someone who had the solution. It was in forgiveness and a process I could follow to do so. I still had to do the work, though it was a God-send at the time, within a month of the trifecta of divorce, expulsion and getting fired. I was totally open and vulnerable to change, not knowing what would come. I did know I had to get this ugly feeling out of my system and had prayed for help. I got the answer and wow, what a powerful process.
Your results may take some time, as trauma and resentment can go really deep. It’s still able to be released and transcended, with results only the experience will demonstrate just how powerful and live-changing the process can be. As with any practice or process, you’ve got to have the discipline to see it through. I know for a fact you’ll feel lighter, more available and loving of yourself and others as a result. If you are a proponent of ‘flow,’ you’re in for a treat. If not, you’ll have a great experience anyway.
The process gets you to feel the connection, not the perceived wrong, and moves out of the bipolar structure of ‘grudge and forgiveness.’ You may think it odd, though with the use of the words given, you will notice a change in your feeling, your sense of center and connectedness.
Enjoy!
Forgiveness – Love and Oneness Meditation:
Exercise:
First, grab a pen and several sheets of paper… or sit down in front of your computer with a word processing program up and ready. Write down every person you know. This may seem like an introduction to network marketing but let me assure you that you will not be making phone calls to everyone. Do not filter anything… write them all down… every one… associates, friends and perceived enemies. Inclusion of those you do or did not like is very important. Depending on your age, you should have several hundred to nearly a thousand or more. Take your time… no rush.
Contemplate every aspect and area of your life, especially emotional and physical, and write down all the names, past and present… adversaries, betrayers, cohorts, confidants, enemies, friends, family, lovers and anything else you can imagine.
It may take you several days to compile the list. Be diligent and as complete as possible. Remain as free from emotional entanglements as possible during the process. The simple attraction of their energy as you focus on recalling will begin to create subtle changes because of your sincere intent to love.
With each one of these names, you might have seen their face in your mind’s eye as you thought of them, even if it was just for a brief moment. That is a natural part of the process. We’ll be using your imagery in perfect order next.
You will need to allow yourself plenty of time in a quiet place where you will be undisturbed for the duration. Tell everyone you need some quiet space to do some very important work. If you live by yourself, unplug the phone, and enjoy a lingering moment of solace and solitude. Prepare to transcend your previous emotional state.
Now, sit with your list for a moment before you begin. Practicing the previous ‘releasing’ meditation first, may help to clear any emotional baggage from the day. Just begin to feel the love in your heart that you allow for the greatest ones in your life… your totally connected feeling to ALL THAT IS.
You may normally only reserve this feeling for your children, parents, spouse, teacher, guru, spiritual mentors, etc. Lock it in to your feeling world now by simply feeling a deep sense of awe in the love eternal. Open your eyes and begin to read the list now.
Begin with the first name. Read it out loud. Imagine a picture of their face so that you can easily look into their eyes. Look them directly in the eyes and repeat, “I love you…Our purpose is Oneness.” Pause long enough to breathe in and out at least one complete cycle while looking into their eyes. Do this for every name on the list.
If you have less than 50, you haven’t made any effort at all. If you have less than 200, then you are still resisting. If you are in your mid-40s or older, your list ought to be close to a thousand or more. You may feel you don’t have the time to make the list. Make it anyway.
The Steps:
- Read their name out loud.
- Imagine their face in front of you.
- Look into their eyes: steps 4-6.
- Breathe in deeply and as you exhale…
- Say, “I love you. Our purpose is Oneness.”
- Breathe at least one complete cycle as you send love.
Alright, you don’t have to do the entire thousand or more, although if you have the time I’ll guarantee it will be worth the effort. You will notice some profound results afterward; some immediately and some over time. Sometimes we have down days. It’s all good. You cannot awaken to your true nature, that of loving and being loved, without the challenges to do so.
Practicing this exercise on a day you feel a little down will change your energy dramatically. Notice the subtle shift toward a sense of joy and happier feelings; no competing thoughts in this moment. You’ll even feel a certain lightness of being afterward, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
The devotion and time you give to this process will reflect in the positive changes in your life. You may encounter much resistance and distraction. Our true selves, and some say our appointed duties, stem from a central core of LOVE – Loving and being Loved.
Releasing to the ‘feeling’ of LOVE as you extend this welcome to all those on your list can shift both of your worlds. Give attention to noticeable changes in your experience for the next few weeks.
Journal prompt: What were your feelings and thoughts during the meditation process? Were you fully present or did you find yourself fighting with distractions? Did you find emotional weights being removed or did you feel it was a waste of time? Write about both perspectives as you consider the reasons for each.
Journal about the changes when possible.
If this post helped you, there’s much more where that came from in Transformation: A Guide for Change. It’s a workbook designed with weekly exercises and journaling prompts. The material is a collection of things I found to work well and assited me greatly. I present them not as theory; practical and pragmatic from experience of them. It’s my gift as a pay-it-forward offering.
