Your Door to ‘What Is’

“In the realm of human destiny, the depth of man’s questioning is more important than his answers.”

Andre Malraux

What is in it for you?  

In starting any self-awareness or self-development program the first concern on nearly everyone’s mind is, “How can this person help?” or “What is in it for me?” are standard inquiries. What’s this ‘door to what is’ thing? I hope to make that clear as we move through this process. It will be one that will empower you to be more authentic and make better choices in your life.

Some of the following may seem incredulous and don’t forget that truth is often stranger than fiction. My life is living proof and I’m still seeking answers to explain some experiences.

Let me give you a quick thumbnail. If you need more information, you can search Zen Benefiel on the Web and the results would keep you occupied for weeks. Please feel free to check. Here’s a piece on the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts website.

As an orphan and adoptee with an insatiable curiosity and penchant for pushing the limits of reality, I apparently opened a door in my psyche very young that allowed paranormal experiences to fill my life. I enjoy them still, yet the challenge is the harmonization of inner and outer realities, crafting a niche in the world that aligns and rewards passion and purpose for and with people, places and things. To put it simply – finding form, fit and function in this reality.

This curiosity was initiated by a voice that called out to me shortly after my fifth birthday. It was distinct and loud, yet was inaudible to anyone else around me. A few years later I began having nightly excursions, observing my physical body from a different point of view that took me into an orange cigar-shaped cloud hovering over a field next to my home in rural Indiana, near Muncie.

Those nightly excursions happened numerous times over a two-year period. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered the ‘cloud’ was the most common ‘contactee’ experience during that time period, according to Ruth Montgomery’s Aliens Among Us. It was also included in Strangers Among Us. Admittedly, the childhood I had was different than most.

Then in my late teens just after the beginning of my second quarter in college I got hit with the proverbial, “Who am I?” and “What am I here to do?” scenario. For many that is the first period of serious questioning regarding life, but not everyone has it. It came at a time of serious emotional trauma.

I prayed to know what truth was and a week later during a meditation I was asked, by the same voice I’d heard years earlier, if I was willing to die for what I believed in. My first response was, ‘Oh, shit!’ but I believed in Cosmic Consciousness as the ultimate truth and said, “Yes.” I felt safe and secure in that.

To keep the story short, I left my body, turned to see it as I moved away, looked back to see where I was going and found myself engulfed in white light immediately. I felt like I was HOME beyond comprehension. After realizing I wasn’t ‘dead,’ but this ‘Light’ was void of anything else other than the sense of unconditional love, I asked if there was more.

I felt a movement, found myself surrounded by points of light on an indigo background, and as soon as I realized these were points of consciousness the ‘voice’ explained my relationship to them and my purpose – to facilitate harmony among people and planet. What is a teenager supposed to do with that? There is more here.

A little over a decade later I experience an excruciating divorce, wave goodbye to my children and spiral into the rabbit hole for a year or so. It started one full moon night in June, just before my birthday, when a friend of mine and I were conversing outside our guest house he was renting for a short time.

Our conversation, deeper than usual, fell quiet and I closed my eyes and prayed silently, “Who am I?” I was overwhelmed when he turned to me and said out loud, “You are Zendor.” I was spellbound for a moment, with a quick vision that accompanied the words almost instantly. How does one ‘deal’ with that? A couple of years later I had the opportunity to use it wisely.

More in the next installment. 🙂