transformation Archives - Transformational Life Coaching

December 29, 2017June 11, 2019

Experiment in Mentorship – Creating a Personal Council

Your Personal Council Awaits

We all know the importance of having a mentor or mentors in life and professional environments. The style and type of mentor is generally chosen for professional reasons. Do you have any now? What are they like? Let’s discuss mentors for a bit here. The specific instances may not apply to your personal life, but the essence of mentorship is quite helpful to explore.

Learning how to ask the right questions, especially in serving a purpose, is one of the keys to success. Mentors help to guide one in the direction of their best interests for personal and professional benefit. Knowing more about leadership allows one to grow in their ability to lead both self and others. I prefer a mentor as a master teacher, a confidant; one who stretches my ability to conceive of ways to accomplish goals with increasing ethical foundations that can be shared with others in the process.

I prefer a mentor that has depth, is able to share insights into human dynamics and problem solving while asking me to consider the same. Because of my awareness of psychospiritual mechanisms, I also prefer a mentor who has at least an open mind and shares their own personal discoveries in the moment, creating opportunity for discussion and reflection. A mentor leads you to ask better questions about yourself and the world around you.

A mentor shares a variety of ways to ask pertinent questions that reveal opportunities to garner support and strength in partnering, moving groups toward achievement and excellence in performance. Mentors have contributed greatly to my life and well-being, increasing my sense of fulfillment and connectedness to life in general.

Knowing that mentors are a great benefit, we don’t always have access to them when we most need them. So how can you have access when you need their guidance? This next exercise is designed to help you create your own council of mentors. Acquiring these mentors for this purpose is quite easy. Just imagine them in your head, using your visualization to create the scenery. They can be living or dead because in your imagination there are no boundaries.

Exercise:

Pick a mentor/hero/inspiration for each of the twelve areas of your chart

Twelve Views of your Council and their Characteristics:

1. Being – a strong natural presence, with solid ethics, morals, and values.
2. Having – shows others the gifts life can offer by example.
3. Local Learning – demonstrated learning in immediate environment.
4. Root/Home – firmly rooted in their center, confident and serene.
5. Personal Expression – achieved their dream with natural passion.
6. Service/Sacrifice/Self-Transformation – served humanity with their life.
7. Intimate Others/Close Friend/Family – you honor and respect.
8. Partnership Results – demonstrated success through collaboration.
9. Higher Learning – pioneered education, discipline, or mentorship.
10. Work – success through applying abilities, skills and talents.
11. Public Expression – impacted the lives of many through their public life.
12. Mystery – successful through synchronistic or serendipitous events.

Two formats are provided for recording your inquiries and results. The first is an in-depth view of your personal responsibility based on self-knowledge and your willingness to accept constructive advice. The second is event or situation specific, allowing you to explore the choices for action. Take time to journal at the end of the exercise.

Long Format: Ask each to tell you your worst (personal weaknesses), your best (personal strengths), and how you can improve your skills from their point of view. This is an extremely powerful tool. It can offer a tremendous gift if you are willing to review the information openly, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the comfort of your own private space. This is particularly nice if you like to keep your inner processing and thoughts private. The council already knows you deeply and can reflect many things that your normal processing might have missed. There is no time limit to the meeting. Make sure to journal about the process.

Short Format: Pick a few mentors relative to the specific area you need help and ask each to give their view of how you can perform in a specific situation, problem, event, opportunity, etc. Reflect on the information each gives you, like using conversational clarifiers or a reflection of what you understood. This allows you to completely relax without having to think about taking notes. It also helps in the journaling process afterward, which must be done in order for the process to have maximum effect. Journal afterward.

Once a week or when you are in need of counsel, call the twelve together in your mind and ask for their advice. You can construct a collage of pictures in order to visualize them more easily. It is important to make this meeting special, giving yourself time alone and uninterrupted. Ritualize the occasion (incense, candles, special garment, whatever will mark the process as being set apart from the routine of your life) Praise your mentors for their hero-hood, and thank them all for their past service, and in advance for what you are about to receive. Anticipation of phenomenal results adds to the experience. Begin by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths to relax and prepare. All you are doing is having a conversation that is focused on you.

If you are uncomfortable or overwhelmed with such a large council, just create what is comfortable to you. The actual number of mentors is totally up to you. The point is that you make the attempt to create your council and work with it until you are comfortable in knowing it is available. This experiment can transcend your current cache of direct experience. Boundaries can disappear between worlds, physical and non-physical, if you let them. The four components: ask, believe, allow and receive.

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Get this information and more in Transformation – A Guide for Change

September 18, 2017June 11, 2019

Spiritually Transformative Experiences

NDE & STE – Similarly Profound

Near-Death and Spiritually Transformative Experiences begin with synchronicity in most cases, the kind that just cannot be ignored. That is the first clue that you are being put on notice, if one is paying attention. It is the desire to connect more deeply to ‘reality’ that fuels the machinery of manifestation. If you listened to the audio intro, please be aware I like to play around even in the seriousness of the topic.

The areas of concern here include near-death experiences (NDEs), spiritually transformative experiences and other kinds of ‘contact’ that have been on the leading edge of conscious evolution, yet have found too much skepticism from traditional professionals. A huge area of service delivery remains open and unaddressed, let alone serviced.

I spoke at the International Association for Near Death Studies (IANDS) annual conference in 2010 about my introduction to the Light and beyond. It’s on YouTube if you care to search. I’ve written a number of books regarding the topics as well as earned two Master’s degrees in Business.

I’m not ashamed or reluctant to say I’ve been a contactee since childhood. In sharing I’ve suffered the normal incredulous comments, gazes and rejection of folks across the gamut of personal and professional realms. I’m actually quite outspoken because my experience is solid, including garnering the wisdom beyond the experiences. I can help you do the same. You can reach me by clicking here.

I’ve managed to have some fairly demanding jobs as well as earn two master’s degrees in business, which is not common among experiencers. I am a certified hypnotherapist and went on to earn certification as a transformational life coach as well. I’ve got the tools and I know how to use them to garner the best results for you.

I am a prolific writer, worked for various publications and have taught journalism to high school students. One of the best things I can offer to those on the quest for discovery of self is a workbook I created called “Cosmic Conundrum: Who am I?“

Over 40 years of contemplation and personal tools are included, along with journal prompts (gets you to examine your view) and some powerful exercises that help to move the mind beyond chaos.

Zen embraces psychological, scientific, intuitive and mystical explanations, offering practical exercises for meditation, releasing emotional blockages, mentorship, deepening the experience of “flow,” and more. Where relevant, Zen gives simple and effective definitions of spiritual terms for comprehension, and methodical processes for readers to achieve similar results with the suggested exercises. The author’s knowledge of mental-emotional transformational methodologies makes for well-explored and deeply penetrating lessons on the self-help topics.

As a conscious professional who bridges worlds often, such as facilitating multi-million dollar road and bridge construction partnering workshops (google ‘partnering facilitator’), teaching business plan writing to healing arts practitioners, producing and hosting television shows or running the operations for huge public events, I’ve proven an ‘experiencer’ can indeed find balance and productivity in the real world… even success. If I can, so can you. You might begin by reading ‘Creating Serendipity.‘

Now the terms abductee and contactee are used mainly in the ‘Ufology’ community while the near-death and spiritually transformative are used in more clinical environments, sometimes associated with the study of consciousness. Necromancy, mediumship or psychic readings fall into yet another category. They are all connected. Each has its inherent challenges with the ‘experiencer’ and expertise to help one find balance of any kind simply cannot come from anyone outside the direct experience of such events.

If you haven’t watched the IANDS presentation regarding these very elements of interconnectivity and the transcendence of consciousness, please do so. I mention abductees, contactees, near-death experiencers and spiritually transformative experiences. Tom Campbell also relates the expanded consciousness experiences in left-brain terms through My Big TOE and many interviews on YouTube.

Some help may be offered by traditional means, however the insights and intuition of a fellow ‘experiencer’ are priceless in the process. If you are open and willing, I can be a great asset. I’m available for groups, individuals by phone, Skype, Zoom and in person. If you live in the US and have a small group of folks that need help, my rates are very affordable. I’m a great facilitator for bridging worlds.

If you are here now, then you have a sense of being led to where you need to go and to whom you need to connect in order to advance in your own growth and understanding. Asking the bigger questions or even just better questions can lead to phenomenal breakthroughs. Curious for more? Reach out.

So why are you here right now? Can you see the breadcrumbs along the trail that guided you here? Just notice them for a moment and reflect on your awareness of the process. This is better than the Rabbit Hole and offers the opportunity to really Be Here Now.

The book Be Here Now was my first real ‘connection’ to another that made sense. The answer to the larger question (why am I here?) I can help with through transformational life coaching and personal gifts beyond the ‘normal’ coaching modalities.

I’ve worked with hundreds of folks over the years privately by ‘divine guidance’ (those who’ve just shown up and need help) and referrals from those who know my capability and concern for those who’ve opened up a can of worms they weren’t intending to open. Words won’t instill the trust one needs to share such intimate experiences, but at least they open the door to the possibilities that it could happen.

People need to have the opportunity to grow and understanding their own nature without feeling like they are an outcast or social misfit because their experience is so different than most of the general public. I’ve been down these roads already, an ongoing contactee since childhood, and have the trials and tribulations to prove it. You’ll find working with me provides a safety net you might not know exists yet.

Garnering the understanding of a larger perspective of life on planet earth is overwhelming to some, especially when they are among critics and skeptics that challenge one’s experiences. Responses to contact are as varied as the types of contact, but one thing remains consistent – we are controlled by our fears.

The journey we are on entails the exposure of confabulation (skewed memories) and obfuscation (purposely making things unclear). The universe within us and around us has no secrets… no demand of our allegiance… yet it demands our allegiance if we intend to be the change and example harmony among people and planet in our lifetimes.

Being authentic, caring and observant is a challenge in every moment, every thought and action. We often engage the circuitous defensive nature of the little self in our quest to be bigger, not realizing the Self (cosmically-attuned) is within reach and takes us to a much bigger playing field we were designed to engage.

When one shows up as an example of an attempt to epitomize a ‘belief system’ they are often stiff-armed in an attempt to remain comfortable in personal deception or ignorance. We learn who to trust over time. Those that resonate tend to experience ‘chance’ meetings or ‘coincidental’ moments that help alleviate the confusion.

Many experiencers find this kind of behavior [denial and rejection] far too often and need help dealing with the skepticism and the travails of living with the knowledge of a separate reality, or so many would have them believe. It’s sad to think that such behavior still happens in today’s world, but it does. I’m here to offer safety and solace. You can be who you are without feeling like you are under the microscope.

I think it is safe to say that there is an awareness of cosmic consciousness condensed into form.. us. Each one of us has the opportunity to recognize our Origin – and to acknowledge that place of Origin in each other. The workbook ‘Cosmic Conundrum – Who Am I?‘ is all about discovery and exploration.

September 4, 2017June 11, 2019

Amateur vs Professional?

Amateur vs Professional…

Coaches Make the Difference

The Difference Between Amateurs and Professionals

Why is it that some people seem to be hugely successful and do so much, while the vast majority of us struggle to tread water?

The answer is complicated and likely multifaceted.

One aspect is mindset—specifically, the difference between amateurs and professionals.

Most of us are just amateurs.

What’s the difference? Actually, there are many differences:

Amateurs stop when they achieve something. Professionals understand that the initial achievement is just the beginning.
Amateurs have a goal. Professionals have a process.
Amateurs think they are good at everything. Professionals understand their circles of competence.
Amateurs see feedback and coaching as someone criticizing them as a person. Professionals know they have weak spots and seek out thoughtful criticism.
Amateurs value isolated performance. Think about the receiver who catches the ball once on a difficult throw. Professionals value consistency. Can I catch the ball in the same situation 9 times out of 10?
Amateurs give up at the first sign of trouble and assume they’re failures. Professionals see failure as part of the path to growth and mastery.
Amateurs don’t have any idea what improves the odds of achieving good outcomes. Professionals do.
Amateurs show up to practice to have fun. Professionals realize that what happens in practice happens in games.
Amateurs focus on identifying their weaknesses and improving them. Professionals focus on their strengths and on finding people who are strong where they are weak.
Amateurs think knowledge is power. Professionals pass on wisdom and advice.
Amateurs focus on being right. Professionals focus on getting the best outcome.
Amateurs focus on first-level thinking. Professionals focus on second-level thinking.
Amateurs think good outcomes are the result of their brilliance. Professionals understand when outcomes are the result of luck.
Amateurs focus on the short term. Professionals focus on the long term.
Amateurs focus on tearing other people down. Professionals focus on making everyone better.
Amateurs make decisions in committees so there is no one person responsible if things go wrong. Professionals make decisions as individuals and accept responsibility.
Amateurs blame others. Professionals accept responsibility.
Amateurs show up inconsistently. Professionals show up every day.
Amateurs go faster. Professionals go further.
Amateurs go with the first idea that comes into their head. Professionals realize the first idea is rarely the best idea.
Amateurs think in ways that can’t be invalidated. Professionals don’t.
Amateurs think in absolutes. Professionals think in probabilities.

There are a host of other differences, but they can effectively be boiled down to two things: fear and reality.

Amateurs believe that the world should work the way they want it to. Professionals realize that they have to work with the world as they find it. Amateurs are scared — scared to be vulnerable and honest with themselves. Professionals feel like they are capable of handling almost anything.

Luck aside, which approach do you think is going to yield better results?

Food for Thought:

In what circumstances do you find yourself behaving like an amateur instead of as a professional?
What’s holding you back? Are you hanging around people who are amateurs when you should be hanging around professionals?

Original Article: https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2017/08/amateurs-professionals/

FOOTNOTES

1 Ideas in this article from Ryan Holiday, Ramit Sethi, Seth Godin and others.

Find out what more Zen can offer with his workbook: Cosmic Conundrum: What Am I, Really?

April 22, 2017June 11, 2019

Observations of a New Way

Observations of a New Way

In my search for truth I have learned that asking the right questions leads to clearer answers, whether inquiring of personal clarity or structural integrity. Often, the questions came from far wiser people as I inquired of those who had made the journey in the area of my focus. My observations have been extensive, yet not shared too much.

My intent: to inquire of how to better serve and thus, be better served.

Earth Day is perhaps very timely. There seems to be some recurring questions throughout those whom most would perceive as self-made success stories in their respective areas. What needs to be done? What is my purpose? What is my role? How do I best play it?

I’m an eduholic, so by nature I’m curious about the nature and structure of the big picture as well as the person to person details of relationships that contribute to harmony among people and planet, planetary citizens if you will. They are often quiet folk, humble yet powerful voices in their business and personal worlds.

Some even become well-recognized for their contributions to the community or world at large. Most are the unsung heroes of social architecture, planting seeds of love through their devotion to serving the needs of their chosen path. This leads to the basic questions that are so simple, they are often missed.

The goal is always to achieve a result through the orchestration and use of people, places and/or things. The specific goals are vastly varied, though these questions seem to be ubiquitous in content. That being stated, questions most recurring are: Are my intentions aligned with the goal? Sometimes personal agendas get in the way.

Then there are more questions. What are the needs and wants of those I’m creating relationships with to achieve my goal? What may I offer to the process to facilitate greater flow and mutual benefit? How do I best serve it through my actions? The proactive included one more: What’s next? The humanitarian: Who needs help and how may I serve them?

The questions tend to reveal a new millennium paradigm to address an apparent need for better relations in the global community, applied in thorough detail at local levels. Best practices include treating the process as an organic ‘learning organization,’ a holistic systems approach, in order to maximize the return on investment – our lives of purpose. The dynamics of organizational management apply on business and personal creations, requiring wise choices in the face of challenge.

I suppose the hopes of many hinge on the effectiveness of how this new paradigm is proliferated throughout the mechanisms that manage our human, material, planetary and spiritual resources. One might conclude that this new paradigm would create a new world order, one of accountability and responsiveness to the rapid change of our behavior toward each other and the environment, establishing some kind of harmonic convergence of the fearful and fearless.

The fearful exhibit unconscionable behavior in the destruction of life while the fearless live with conscience and consideration of life and all their relations. What are your observations? How can we improve our relations?

January 1, 2017June 11, 2019

New Year – New Awareness – New Life

Happy New Year is not just a standard well-wishing for all. It is an invitation to enjoy a life of renewed clarity, hope and vitality. Every year we have a little time to share this sentiment, yet how long does it really last? It’s a new year – new awareness – new life.

How can we take that sentiment and implement it into our daily living? Is there something simple we can do to keep the vibe in our awareness and share it with others? I suspect so, yet it involves some discipline that a lot of us just don’t have yet.

Discipline? Not that we’re looking for disciples, but you kinda have to become one for your own life. What I mean is that there has to be some kind of effort you make on a daily basis to remind yourself of how you want to be. The what and who come as a result of the ‘how.’

What I’ve found is that oftentimes there are some self-deprecating patterns, deeply embedded, that get in the way of allowing our natural happy self to become present. How it happened really doesn’t matter. It is in the past. What shows up is a feeling, like something is being withheld.

A Practical Process

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘Let go and let God.’ Can we? Do we have to really work on recognizing and releasing our attachments to outcome? Usually we do; working through the frustrations of self-criticism along the way. Oftentimes, we find ourselves in a vicious vortex of self-destructive patterns.

That same vortex can just as quickly release us when we know how to let go of our critical subjective nature, acknowledge the feeling, allow the feeling without denial, choose to release it, observe its release and accept a better feeling. Sounds so simple in theory. What if it really is?

This practice is a relatively simple yet profound tool for transformation and transcendence. You might already realize the advantages. What you will be doing is synergizing your breath with your feelings, releasing the emotional blocks or bottlenecks to your true freedom and flow.

Depending on what you uncover, it can work quickly or take some time. The process, once perfected, can be used anywhere at any time. The results are experienced in many ways, all of them good, as they offer deeper understanding of your own feeling patterns.

We can either respond or react to any situation. By responding, we pause and reflect before we act. The observer within allows us to step away from the emotional attachment to outcome, yet helps us define those attachments because we have become aware of them now. Once aware, we can choose how to respond rather than react out of some unconscious pattern of old behavior.

Personal growth does not have to be painful. Why would we want to continue to experience pain, then? We can observe and not be engaged by the disturbance. So recognizing that the observer is a really powerful place, how do we find it? The focus of this exercise is to move beyond disturbance in your emotional patterns, the blocks or resistance to change or growth, and become the observer of your process.

Sometimes we have enough awareness to be able to ask why we reacted to a situation in such an inappropriate or incongruent way. That question is an opportunity to explore the deeper causes of our reaction. The following exercise is designed to allow you to garner greater awareness and control of your responses to stimuli.

New Year – New Awareness – New Life

Exercise:

Recall a situation where you reacted emotionally out of control.
Remember the feeling that triggered the reaction. Embrace it now.
Feel the feeling as deeply as if it had just happened again.
Take a deep breath and let it go. On the exhale, feel yourself relax and release.
Imagine that the feeling is now gone, replaced by a better feeling.
Breathe deep, again and breathe again. Feel the tension leave your body?
Notice that you feel better, less stressed and less tense.

That is the process. It is that simple. You probably had forgotten about the feeling, right? There could be a bit of residual emotion still. That, too, can disappear with practice. Imagine if you took conscious breaths on a regular basis.

Here’s to the continued deep breathing, embracing what is and choosing to be happy this year!

December 19, 2016June 11, 2019

Transforming Our World – one conversation at a time.

transformational life coaching and professional services

Invitations

Over the last few months I’ve been participating in a number of conversations online as well as on Zoom (a video platform for online meetings). The nature of the conversations is about learning how to listen and respond from the present moment. The folks involved are from around the world, most of them involved with U.Lab and functioning professionally as entrepreneurs, business owners, change agents (interim CEOs), and social change advocates. The level of experience is amazing and I’m humbled to be included with such dynamic and progressive people.

I’m warmed by the sharing of thoughts and inspiration to be change agents for the transformation of what I know as our ‘planetary civilization.’ References to it abound in indigenous cultures throughout the world, neglected by the ‘western thought’ that seems to be locked into the idea that we have ‘dominion’ over the Earth when, in fact, we are ‘stewards’ that have heretofore been diminished by the louder voices of capitalism and greed. We are all on the hero’s journey.

References

The Mayan Calendar, along with a half dozen others at least (Aztec, Chinese, Egyptian, Hindu, Hopi, Sumerian) portrays this time as one of the emergence of consciousness. According to some references, there is a 50-year window as we shift from the Piscean to the Aquarian age. It began in August of 1987 with the Harmonic Convergence, reached the apex at the Winter Solstice of 2012 and proceeds to 2037 where, perhaps, we enter a Type 1 Civilization on the Kardashev scale. Others portray it from their POV; Aurobindo, Ballard, Blavatsky, Blanchard, Campbell, Keys, Maynard, Maxwell, Marx-Hubbard, Scharmer, Senge and countless more.

Simply put, we have a rise in awareness (personal/planetary/professional) that leads to understanding holistic systems (ego to eco or ego to wego) and an ability/capacity to extend that awareness back into the existing systems, which is the second phase occurring after the 2012 Solstice. The first few years are obviously a little wonky as we grapple with articulating and implementing this understanding. The co-presencing activity process and u.lab fits this scenario well. In this scenario, it doesn’t matter what is happening off-planet. We can only deal with what is in front of us here, now. How we do that is critical, an imperative notion to become ONE in the diversity present.

Moving Forward

Analysis paralysis can and does stifle the process. Imho, we seek FLOW… like Csikszentmihalyi’s Psychology of Optimal Experience – what is it? How do we determine it? Does it come from a place that naturally resides within us, like Otto states about the co-presencing; or, but it’s all around if we could but perceive, as Graeme Edge states. Symptomatic notions are indeed in process of transformation as we continue to find solidarity in discussions about NOW and its effect on the future. Deep listening only matters when we are asking the right questions, first.

We are engaged in a state of self-actualization and self-realization simultaneously – a work-in-progress mirrored by our outer realities. If we question where we are, a quick look in front of us will give us amazing answers. Even as I type, my thoughtmosphere expands to include a repleteness of infinite intelligence working behind the scenes, the unseen hand that we all know and experience as serendipity and synchronicity in our lives… driven by the desire to be ONE in an individuated form, a perfect thread in the tapestry.

Seeing with New Eyes

Observation is a reflection of lens we look through, whether we choose to see connection or discord is up to us. If everything is connected and we see discord, then perhaps we see need to see with new eyes and speak with a new voice. Granted, the most challenging place to be is connected and silent. There is an old adage… to know, to dare, to do and to be silent. In a state of ultra-connectedness, the ‘voice’ of one can and does emote through others.

Perhaps the indefensible thoughts of others are what is coming up now as we witness the world in change and become the re-framers of conversations toward things that matter. It seems there are so many attempting to say the same thing and so few recognizing and weaving them together as reflections of the process. So long ago, in a state of oneness and yet individuated, there was a sense of unanimity that I’ve sought to share my entire life. What I see now, some 40 years later, are those who also have such a notion that it exists and can be experienced in the physical world today.

Can we see with one eye?

Can we feel with one heart?

Can we think with one mind?

Can we live as one on Earth?

I believe the answer to each question is a resounding ‘YES’ and we all are contributing to that circuitous process. I also think we need to imagine ourselves as more than human, at least in the limited sense we seem to want to engage. Just my two sense. 😉

I’ve chronicled my more in-depth exploration in Stubbing My TOE on Purpose.